graduation day 29 years ago.

Good morning , 29 years just flew away, sets you wandering 'did we do the right things' all along.
lets check the scoreboard. 1. love: not so ok, lost uni love, lost? or just being dump? will never know since no contact for more than a quarter century, current love is great with its ups and downs. 2. Family: not too bad, one wife two kid, no mjor issues with other members.
Gambling addition is real baaad. every single day i think of gambling, sex & booze is nothing compared to this.
Only to blame myself, max the credit cards yet still going back to it. why- how attractive can a slot machine be? or is it the greed, that to covert thy neighbor's property or the desire to win big. I estimate I lost enough to buy all of the machines. I think the scary part is when I start to lie to borrow first from relatives, friends and then strangers. or from the ah longs - boy will they have a field day chopping me up.
Always tot it was under control, all addicts say the same. I a m and will Accept the fact that I have lost too much and accept the fact that it is no longer a social thing or male bonding. i accept the fact that i will never be able to recover the money I lost. I accept the fact that I was weak. I accept the fact that I alone is at fault, no one else.
I am letting it go, it being the money that is lost is gone, there is no way i can recover it from them, i will move on and do more productive work with the time on my hands.
I will need to forgive myself on this one otherwise it will not go away.

A wonderful day begins with a glimer of hope.

Today promises to be a wonderful day . the morning started right, sent sunny to class, waiting for ken to be back for breakfast. received what was longing forthe last 24 days. now waiting fr the right response.